


Manor of Efficiency

by quiet__tiger



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 04:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10801947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiet__tiger/pseuds/quiet__tiger
Summary: Alfred always knows what everyone needs.





	Manor of Efficiency

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Bust."
> 
> Originally posted to Livejournal 4th-Feb-2010.

“Bruce, any chance we could take a break?” There was fidgeting next to Bruce on the sofa in his office, old comfortable cushions protesting the movement.

Bruce looked up from the schematic in front of him, and was taken aback by the way Clark Kent, _Kal-El_ , looked tired. Superman shouldn’t look tired, even when he was wearing Clark’s ill-fitting clothes and unattractive glasses.

But perhaps they _had_ been going over plans for the remodeling of the Watchtower for a little too long on a Saturday afternoon. Bruce just wanted to get through this already so they could start building, but every time they were almost ready another team member would express an interest and give ideas for improvements, and God forbid Superman _refuse_ anyone anything…

Bruce blinked at his own hostility—maybe he needed a break, too.

“Sure, Clark. I could use something to eat, too. I’ll just call Alfred and have him prepare something.”

“That isn’t necessary, Alfred doesn’t have to--”

The man in question entered the office just then, a tray of drinks and sandwiches in his hands. “Master Bruce, I took the liberty of preparing refreshments for you. Master Clark’s favorites, of course.”

Of course. Bruce never got what he wanted when Clark was at the Manor.

As they tucked into their sandwiches, Clark asked around a mouthful, “How does he _do_ that?”

“I’ve learned not to ask. He never answers.”

~*~

“Oh, come on, Tim. Live dangerously.” How he could even say that with a straight face…

“I’m sorry, Dick, but I prefer Bruce _not_ catch me snooping through his stuff.”

They were in Bruce’s study, the last resort for Dick to find the cufflinks he wanted for his date that night. They weren’t in Bruce’s bedroom, closet, or office, so there was a _chance_ he’d left them in the study after wearing them last. A very slim chance.

Tim warily looked around—he could swear he felt eyes watching him. “You could just _ask_ Bruce where they are and if you could borrow them.”

“But he might say no. If I take them without asking, at least I’ll have them. Easier to ask forgiveness than permission, after all.”

“I don’t know if that goes for Bruce.”

“It’ll be fine.”

They searched everything that wasn’t locked, but remained empty handed. Sighing heavily, Dick said, “Well, at least we weren’t caught in here.”

Dick opened the door and almost walked straight into Alfred, who wasn’t quite glaring but he didn’t look pleased, either. “Looking for something, Master Dick?”

“Uh--”

“These perhaps?” Alfred raised an eyebrow and handed Dick a box that no doubt contained the missing cufflinks. “Master Bruce isn’t expecting these back from the jeweler for another few days.” The eyebrow lowered again, but the eyes remained steely. “Sometimes it really is okay to ask first.”

With that Alfred turned and left the room, leaving Dick and Tim gaping at each other, hearts pounding. Almost whispering, Tim asked, “You’re _sure_ he isn’t psychic, right?”

“Sometimes I wonder…”

~*~

“This is nice, Bruce.” Selina smiled at him, eyes sparkling like the sequins in her dress. She looked beautiful in the soft light of Bruce’s parlor, legs curled under her as she sat next to him on the divan.

She’d come back to the Manor after the fundraiser for a nightcap, and Bruce was enjoying spending time with her as just Bruce and Selina, no costumes or pretenses.

Which was, of course, when she said she had to leave to go back home to her cats. Bruce was pretty sure she meant something more like patrol or plot her next heist—with her it was a tossup.

“It’s been a fun evening, Selina. We’ll have to do this again.”

Smiling again, Selina stood and he followed. “Call me. Or perhaps I’ll catch you on a rooftop somewhere.”

“I’m sure.”

They shared a kiss, not quite chaste and with a hint of something more. But not tonight.

Regretfully, Bruce pulled back and said, “I’ll call Alfred to get your coat.”

“No need, sir.”

Whipping around, Bruce saw Alfred standing inside the doorway, Selina’s coat in hand. “Oh. Thank you, Alfred.”

“Thank you, Alfred. You sure I can’t convince you to join forces with me?”

“Sorry, Miss Kyle, but my home is here.” He smiled at her, in a way that could possibly say _but I may ring you the next time Bruce gets out of hand._

Alfred handed over the coat while saying, “I’ll leave Master Bruce to walk you out, if that’s all right.”

Nodding once, Bruce said, “That would be fine.”

Once Alfred left, Selina asked, “You’re sure I can’t have him? He’s amazing.”

“I know. And no.”

~*~

Humming to himself, Alfred cleaned the study. With Bruce otherwise occupied, he was free to dust the bust of Aristotle that rested on top of one bookcase. He polished the lens in the pedestal; there was a phantom smudge he could see on the video.

Not even Bruce knew about Alfred’s network of hidden cameras, so it was a mystery how the smudge even got there, but that was the way of things.

Once he was done dusting the study, office, and parlor, Alfred went back to his own chambers to check on Bruce. The gym had one more hidden camera, and on the monitor, he could see that Bruce was almost done with his workout. He’d have just enough time to collect a bottle of water and prep the shower before Bruce finished.

Alfred enjoyed everyone thinking he was omniscient, omnipotent, but the truth was that even though he was exceptional at his job, sometimes he needed a little help. The cameras gave him a chance to keep up with the dynamic household, and no one was the wiser.

It wasn’t always easy working for Bruce Wayne and his unconventional family.

Rewarding, absolutely.

But not easy.

It helped to have an edge, and he was sure Bruce would agree.


End file.
